Another problem – is communication elderly. Elderly spouses may increase due to the sharpening conflict communicate their own personality traits in old age, because of the different attitude to younger family members. In addition, some of the older spouse only in old age, meet each other “face to face” when there is a lot of free time and withdrawn social roles. Satir about leads shining example. A married couple Henry and Helen lifetime dream of traveling together. Henry’s worked hard, bought the car in advance. And finally, he retired, and they went towards the dream. Two months later, they stopped talking, six months after Henry got sick and died a year later.
But the most common are conflicts between generations. In those families in which the parents were always only in the parent role, never allow themselves to get out of it, it may be a change of roles: the children will take a parental role opekayusche-prohibitive. Satir says: “Many seniors are requested to avoid the dictates of grown-up children.” Some adult children are surprised to learn that their parents are not willing to follow their advice.
Can actively manifest and conflicts between grandparents and their grandchildren. This is typical for those seniors who did not realize, for whatever reasons, parenting themselves, have failed to demonstrate to their children enough love and attention. Now they surround grandchildren a love that more in the nature overprotective. Grandchildren, as a rule, protesting that serves as the beginning of the conflict.
Many older saves communication with their age group. But some are not able to do even that. The reasons for this situation analyzes E. Byrne. Many of the elderly, as a young man to strictly follow the parent scenario, there is a loss of activity. The fact that the parents have not provided scripts for old age. The man is now free to choose their own. But he can not do it, to choose the very dangerous, so stop all forms of activity, including leading the conversation.
The same people who used to live in the future “deferred joy” delay gratification “for later”, stung by the brevity of the future. The paradoxical situation: the whole life working hard, strive for something for the future, and when it occurs, it is not as enjoyable. In addition, the inability to live “here and now” feel the joy of the present moment even more emphasizes the limitations of the Hereafter.
Compounding the crisis and desexualization elderly. Erased sex differences in dress, behavior. Any talk of sexual theme dramatically, sometimes aggressively rejected. Many people underestimate the importance of sexuality for both psychological and physical health. J. Kemper provides interesting facts revealed in the Austrian nursing homes. The cost of medicines in nursing homes, where it is forbidden walking together people of different sexes, 30% higher than in those where walking is permitted. The latter, moreover, is 7 years higher life expectancy. It turns out that many psychosomatic diseases of older disappear by themselves, if a person marries or finds a suitable partner.
The need to change their position in life, values, attitudes, perceived behavioral elderly with more difficulty. Some authors question the ability of people to change after 45 years in general considers controversial. According to J. Kemper, changes still possible. But the willingness to change in older really is greatly reduced for several reasons. Growing overall rigidity. It becomes difficult to get through to the core of the individual, which becomes indistinguishable for a variety of life situations. Forms of overcoming life’s problems often become second nature. Interfere with skepticism elderly, who are often formed in the course of life experience. Despite the desire to talk, the elderly tend to be less candid and tend to cling to worldly lies. Later, we will touch on a particularly difficult failure in the elderly from the idealized self-image. And, of course, not only interfere with the inherent inability of the elderly to experience illness as a consequence of their own way of life, for which the person primarily responsible. Instead, there is a tendency to see in the purely physical causes of illness and seek only to medical treatment.
However, there are changes in the objective conditions of difficulties in old age.
The first-in old age there is a need to find and test new life roles. Those same people who previously identified themselves with family or social roles, there may be a loss of “I” or a mix of role-playing.
Second – loosening the connection between the individual and society through its own departure from work, taking care of the lives of friends and loved ones, limiting physical activity. And if the previous life boundaries corresponded to the gradual expansion of the communication (kindergarten, school, university, work), in old age, on the contrary, there is its restriction.
Third – respectively the dynamics of the previous way of life was inherent in the constant expansion of the duties of man to society. Now the company is put in the position due to man. There is a danger to society to shift responsibility for their lives
Fourth – it exists in the community setting for old age as a period of “well-earned rest” and the rest. However, studies show that old age – the period of greatest emotional intensity of stressful situations. It was found that 5 of the 10 most stressful situations in life – retirement, death of a close relative, loss of job, etc. – you have to often for their old age. It turns out that elderly people are not psychologically ready and trained to live through this kind of stress.
The fifth – and probably the most important. Most people expect from their own weakness of old age, infirmity, social uselessness. Many people are afraid of their own helplessness. D.Chopra says, is what is commonly referred to as the normal aging – a combination of symptoms generated by abnormal beliefs. D. Chopra is actively pursuing the idea that faith creates biology. Hence the fact that a person expects from old age, he gets.
We now describe the strategies of psychological support for the elderly.